At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
