nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
