oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
