found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
