I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
