HIV tests are more positive than that guy
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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