i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
