he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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