I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
