i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize