We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
