i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
