1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
why do cheetos always look like penises
we're making bets on your personal life
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
