I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
