they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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