I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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