So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Even my vagina gasped.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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