Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
