i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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