I wish I could punch you in the face.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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