So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
