just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
