Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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