I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
