How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Come see our sink grown plant.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
