so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
