my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize