I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
