woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
