Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
