I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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