I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
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Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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