Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
