i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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