Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
