You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize