how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
