Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
