don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
