Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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