I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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