Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish you could order shots online.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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