My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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