Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
