it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
