He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
