My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
