I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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