I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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