I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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