The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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