So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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