it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
