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dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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