Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
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We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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