what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
ttyl tear gas
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
