She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
