There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
