So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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