Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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