one two three fourrrrnication!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
