Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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